Monday, August 26, 2013
Please email your questions or ask on the blog
Many people had been asking if it would be okay to ask questions. The simple question is: Yes. You may email your question or leave them on the blog. God bless
Why listen to negativity?
Then God saw that all he created was good, the book of Genesis tells us. Unfortunately, many people fail to distinguish between the person (God's creature) and the action of the creature. Often people feel belittled, talked down on or even a sense of worthlessness. If only one could realize the inherent dignity of being created in God's image and likeness. Think of it, no other creature resembles God in the same way that humans do.
To confirm this, God sent his only son, born of a woman (just like each one of us), in human likeness, possessing all faculties and human nature, fully human, fully divine. The difference between us and Christ is the reality of our human condition's disposition to sin.
Each day one wakes up, one ought to look in the mirror and say, " I am God's image and likeness! I may sin, make mistakes, think and and do what I ought not do, I am still God's image and likeness. I need God's forgiveness and mercy to enable me be who God wants me to be."
So, when people pick on you, talk down on you, only ways remember that it is not you they act against, they also act, say and do those things against God. He alone will be the judge, and will reward them for their actions.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Return to Blogging
Hello friends, as the sun rises today, I have made a new resolution to return to blogging and answering questions regarding life issues which affect us all. In the coming months, I will be taking one topic at a time, or answering questions as they arise.
The reason for my long absence is that since I moved to Ontario, I have been mostly away for different trainings (physical and academic) and though I will be away for a few more weeks, I intend to use the time to reflect and write. Thanks
The reason for my long absence is that since I moved to Ontario, I have been mostly away for different trainings (physical and academic) and though I will be away for a few more weeks, I intend to use the time to reflect and write. Thanks
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Memories of St. Vincent de Paul Parishioners/Friends
On the Wednesday of Holy Week, I got the news that I have been accepted to start ministry with the Canadian Forces as a Chaplain. In order to avoid the news getting to my parishioners from other sources, I decided to inform them after the Holy Thursday Mass of the Lord's Supper. As I think of it now, I feel it was divine providence that created the condition since it was the one day when the faithful are supposed to keep a vigil in silence as they Lord begins His Agony in the Garden. I know that to me, it felt like an agony in the garden as two of our altar servers who served at the Chrism mass actually noticed that there was something different about me that night. Though I felt like it was so much of a burden to ask people to be silent at the announcement that their pastor will be leaving in a few weeks to join the Forces but I had no control.
As I sit here in my room at the CFB Trenton, I keep playing back the memories of all that took place from the moment I made the announcement to the time day the house was cleaned after the movers loaded everything in their truck. Even though I will not be able to write everything down, I have to say that it was also a period of emotional turmoil for me. This stems from the reality that I have known the parishioners of St. Vincent de Pau and had developed a bond which I hope distance will not break.
I have to state that I miss all the people and often think of the different functions we held, the jokes and laughts as well as the smiles that marked the welcoming spirit in the parish. All these I will always cherish. I will talk later about my journey to Trenton and how things are going so far. Keep the faith and always remember, "GOD LOVES ALL OF US"
As I sit here in my room at the CFB Trenton, I keep playing back the memories of all that took place from the moment I made the announcement to the time day the house was cleaned after the movers loaded everything in their truck. Even though I will not be able to write everything down, I have to say that it was also a period of emotional turmoil for me. This stems from the reality that I have known the parishioners of St. Vincent de Pau and had developed a bond which I hope distance will not break.
I have to state that I miss all the people and often think of the different functions we held, the jokes and laughts as well as the smiles that marked the welcoming spirit in the parish. All these I will always cherish. I will talk later about my journey to Trenton and how things are going so far. Keep the faith and always remember, "GOD LOVES ALL OF US"
Friday, January 14, 2011
Anger (continued)
One of the principal causes of anger is the feeling of "entitlement." It is quite easy for one to acquire the habit of thinking and believing that the world, other people, or God owe him/her, and that people ought to behave in accordance with his/her perceived way of doing things. This mode of thinking could be attributed to the reality that in our culture today, people expect to inherit material things from other family members or parents. It is almost as if one expects it and if for any reason that is not the case, one feels disappointed. The reality is that the only thing any one owes us is respect and honouring our dignity as felow human beings. We ought to work to earn any other thing we need in life, including the love and affection of others. Love and affection as well as the respect that flows from them cannot be forced out of people either by intimidation or violence (verbal or physical). In stead of helping, being angry or acting out one's anger diminishes the ability of people to trust each other and thereby reduces the possibility of harmony.
As we noted earlier, there may be situations where one may become angry. Even in the Scripture, Christ became angry at those who turned His Father's house into a marketplace. The reason behind this is that they have turned away the gentiles and were using the Court of the Gentiles for their trading and exchange. Now one has to understand the way the Jerusalem Temple was built and the distinctions made from the Holy of Holies, the Court of the Priests, the Court of the Israelites, the Court of Women and Children and the Court of the Gentiles. Jesus wanted everyone to be accepted in His Father's house but the religious leaders of his time were barely tolerant of the ones seen as being outside the covenant community.
So the other reasons that lead to anger are intolerence and lack of acceptance. While these two words may seem easy to understand, the reality is that we do not have to just tolerate other people, we must love them. This is the greatest command of God - love the Lord your God, and your neighbourfor upon these the laws and the prophets make meaning. Of course many people of the time of Jesus thought that their neighbour is only the one who professes the same religious belief, comes from the same cultural background and/or has the same outlook to life. Christ corrected this is the parable of the Good Samaritan. Paul explains what it really means to live a life of love when he tells us in 1 Corinthians 12 that:
"Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends."
Based on this, love helps one put life in perspective. So one can deduce that uncontrolled anger could be pointing to undealt with issues which may be related to love of oneself, love of others, or love of God.
As we noted earlier, there may be situations where one may become angry. Even in the Scripture, Christ became angry at those who turned His Father's house into a marketplace. The reason behind this is that they have turned away the gentiles and were using the Court of the Gentiles for their trading and exchange. Now one has to understand the way the Jerusalem Temple was built and the distinctions made from the Holy of Holies, the Court of the Priests, the Court of the Israelites, the Court of Women and Children and the Court of the Gentiles. Jesus wanted everyone to be accepted in His Father's house but the religious leaders of his time were barely tolerant of the ones seen as being outside the covenant community.
So the other reasons that lead to anger are intolerence and lack of acceptance. While these two words may seem easy to understand, the reality is that we do not have to just tolerate other people, we must love them. This is the greatest command of God - love the Lord your God, and your neighbourfor upon these the laws and the prophets make meaning. Of course many people of the time of Jesus thought that their neighbour is only the one who professes the same religious belief, comes from the same cultural background and/or has the same outlook to life. Christ corrected this is the parable of the Good Samaritan. Paul explains what it really means to live a life of love when he tells us in 1 Corinthians 12 that:
"Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends."
Based on this, love helps one put life in perspective. So one can deduce that uncontrolled anger could be pointing to undealt with issues which may be related to love of oneself, love of others, or love of God.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Anger
What is anger? Anger is a very strong emotional feeling which is triggered by the perception of being wronged or offended by another, either by the other’s use of words, action or perceived body language. It can be quite strong and may lead to the need to react either by words or actions which is often hostile towards the perceived offender. Often anger originates from the reality that people approach life situations and issues differently and can react to the words and actions of others differently depending on their emotional and physiological states of mind. There is no doubt that certain actions could lead most people into being angry, especially when they go contrary to the perceived ways of doing things or good manner of speech. There are probably actions and words which would certainly trigger the emotion of anger in most people, for instance, a senseless killing or abuse of an innocent person. There are also situations which may not be as grave as these but may trigger anger in some people and not in others depending on what rationale one associates with the action.
Most people once in a while get angry (which should not be mistaken for resentment). There is the need to control or manage one’s anger as reacting from the initial flow of emotions often lead to over-reaction and eventual regret. There are classes that deal with anger management in different areas. This points to the realization that sometimes one’s reaction to a situation may be more than the action calls for. This can be seen in a case where a person out of anger over another stepping on his well-maintained lawns takes up his gun and shoots at the perpetrator. Maybe the original intent was to scare him, but the outcome may be death. This situation actually played out in the States a couple of years ago (I cannot remember in what city. I could research on this if there is need for that). We often encounter such in our own lives where we wonder after the fact, why we even reacted to a situation, let alone react in such a severe manner.
The psychological and physiological effects of anger are still subjects of study. What effects anger has on one’s physiological reactions and life expectancy is also still a subject of study. However, it is important to realize that uncontrolled anger can lead one to a situation s/he may regret for the rest of the individual’s life. For instance, if one were to disown her/his child in a moment of anger (this has happened a couple of times), though s/he may apologize for it, the words spoken cannot be taken back (even if one verbally states that s/he has recanted the words). This can be seen also in the Scripture where it states that “My words do not return to me until they have fulfilled what they are sent to do.” We all know that the moment we say something, it has effects on others, good or bad and one cannot just say, “I did not say it or I did not mean what I said” even if the individual does not mean exactly what came out. The reality is that every word we speak has effects on people, good or bad.
So, anger has effects both on the individual who gets angry and on the ones around him/her. Sometimes people get angry at their loved ones for dying. I encountered such a situation at the sudden death of a young man who died from a massive heart-attack. His wife was quite upset and angry at his leaving her with three children to raise alone. While we know that this kind of situation can be overwhelming for an individual who was used to having help from the other, it was also important to look at it from the perspective of the one who is dying or one who died. I started my discussion with the young widow by asking her if her husband ever planned to hurt her, to which she replied “NO.” Through the course of our discussion, she realized that left to him, he would have liked to live longer, but at that moment when death came, he had no power over what happened to him, he could not control the situation. We all see this playing out when one is about to die. I am certain that most people, especially those who die young, would have liked to live longer healthier life, to see their children grow, get married and have their own children. I am sure that they probably would have liked to have an opportunity to see, play, and bond with their grandchildren. It is important for us to realize that our family members who die often want the best for us but are unable to control what happens to them.
There is also another situation where a couple were having an argument which seemed to be quite often and led to bursts of anger. The husband hit his wife out of anger and the wife called the cops since she felt she was at the end of her leash. Unfortunately, he could not control his anger. This led to a series of things. One, he ended up in jail. Then he lost his family (which was probably what he was trying to keep intact when he got angry). Finally, he could not re-establish the pure parental filial relationship with his children. A moment of rage and anger could lead to so much emotional and psychological suffering which may have lasting impact on one’s life. St. James tell us in the Scripture, “Do not let resentment lead you into anger. The sunset must not find you still angry. Do not give the devil its opportunity.” I believe that if one has anger issues, s/he needs to try to deal with it and not let it control her/his life and interactions with others. There is the need to get to the root of the anger for quite often, it is not necessarily the situation at hand that triggers the outburst but a combination of other factors, some often unknown or unconscious to the individual at the point they get angry.
Most people once in a while get angry (which should not be mistaken for resentment). There is the need to control or manage one’s anger as reacting from the initial flow of emotions often lead to over-reaction and eventual regret. There are classes that deal with anger management in different areas. This points to the realization that sometimes one’s reaction to a situation may be more than the action calls for. This can be seen in a case where a person out of anger over another stepping on his well-maintained lawns takes up his gun and shoots at the perpetrator. Maybe the original intent was to scare him, but the outcome may be death. This situation actually played out in the States a couple of years ago (I cannot remember in what city. I could research on this if there is need for that). We often encounter such in our own lives where we wonder after the fact, why we even reacted to a situation, let alone react in such a severe manner.
The psychological and physiological effects of anger are still subjects of study. What effects anger has on one’s physiological reactions and life expectancy is also still a subject of study. However, it is important to realize that uncontrolled anger can lead one to a situation s/he may regret for the rest of the individual’s life. For instance, if one were to disown her/his child in a moment of anger (this has happened a couple of times), though s/he may apologize for it, the words spoken cannot be taken back (even if one verbally states that s/he has recanted the words). This can be seen also in the Scripture where it states that “My words do not return to me until they have fulfilled what they are sent to do.” We all know that the moment we say something, it has effects on others, good or bad and one cannot just say, “I did not say it or I did not mean what I said” even if the individual does not mean exactly what came out. The reality is that every word we speak has effects on people, good or bad.
So, anger has effects both on the individual who gets angry and on the ones around him/her. Sometimes people get angry at their loved ones for dying. I encountered such a situation at the sudden death of a young man who died from a massive heart-attack. His wife was quite upset and angry at his leaving her with three children to raise alone. While we know that this kind of situation can be overwhelming for an individual who was used to having help from the other, it was also important to look at it from the perspective of the one who is dying or one who died. I started my discussion with the young widow by asking her if her husband ever planned to hurt her, to which she replied “NO.” Through the course of our discussion, she realized that left to him, he would have liked to live longer, but at that moment when death came, he had no power over what happened to him, he could not control the situation. We all see this playing out when one is about to die. I am certain that most people, especially those who die young, would have liked to live longer healthier life, to see their children grow, get married and have their own children. I am sure that they probably would have liked to have an opportunity to see, play, and bond with their grandchildren. It is important for us to realize that our family members who die often want the best for us but are unable to control what happens to them.
There is also another situation where a couple were having an argument which seemed to be quite often and led to bursts of anger. The husband hit his wife out of anger and the wife called the cops since she felt she was at the end of her leash. Unfortunately, he could not control his anger. This led to a series of things. One, he ended up in jail. Then he lost his family (which was probably what he was trying to keep intact when he got angry). Finally, he could not re-establish the pure parental filial relationship with his children. A moment of rage and anger could lead to so much emotional and psychological suffering which may have lasting impact on one’s life. St. James tell us in the Scripture, “Do not let resentment lead you into anger. The sunset must not find you still angry. Do not give the devil its opportunity.” I believe that if one has anger issues, s/he needs to try to deal with it and not let it control her/his life and interactions with others. There is the need to get to the root of the anger for quite often, it is not necessarily the situation at hand that triggers the outburst but a combination of other factors, some often unknown or unconscious to the individual at the point they get angry.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Homily for Blessing's Funeral
As I listened to the homily I preached at Blessing's funeral, I was again reminded of the grace of God at work in our lives in spite of whatever may go wrong and that God is with us, Emmanuel - the feast of Christmas. Though it may be one of the most difficult ones, this Christmas created a keen awareness of the presence of God in people, in our lives and in the Church. Here is a copy of the homily (the much captured by the video person. There are small portions missed out by him).
I started the homily by singing the first two stanzas of the hymn: It is well with my soul
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Refrain
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath “WASHED NGOZI INHIS” blood.
My dear brothers and sisters, we have come before the Lord today to pray for our sister Blessing whom the Lord has called to himself. We have come to pray that she may be welcomed to eternal life in our home truth. We are grieving but God grace is more than anything in our lives
Song: My brother (sister), cease crying for the dead, please clean your eyes (2xs). Death is a universal phenomenon, cease crying for whatever happens to one, his (her) God knows about, my brother (sister), death is a universal phenomenon, whatever happens to one, his (her) God knows about. A woman went to the native doctor to get medicine with which to raise her child from the dead (2xs). The native doctor told her to go around all the nations, when you enter a home where death never touched, get some leaves from there, with that your child will be raised from the dead. The woman went around the towns but could not find any home where death never touched. She started praying for her child that s/he may go in peace, she prayed for her child that God may bless her (him)...
Today, we are here to grieve but also to thank God for the life she gave to our sister Blessing Ngozi. The first reading from the Book of Wisdom tells us that in the eyes of those who have no faith, this is the end, but in the eyes of those of us who have faith, we know that our sister has gone before us to a better place, a place of true life, the place we all long to God. Christ himself made a promise that he was going to our father and to his Father, and that after he has gone, he will return to take us with him so that we may be with him.
Who wants to go to heaven here? (raised my left hand, everybody raised his/her hand). Who wants to die right now? None (they all started chuckling/laughing softly). Often we sing,
“Heaven is my desire, I will run the race for heaven (and all responded in chorus)
Heaven is my desire, and I will run the race for heaven (2xs)
Me: My brother (sister) do you long to run the race for your life?
All: Heaven is my desire, and I will run the race for heaven
Me: Holy Spirit, help us the grace to run, and reach there
All: Heaven is my desire, and I will run the race for heaven
Me: The comforter, help us to run, and reach there
All: Heaven is my desire, and I will run the race for heaven...”
After singing this song, we are still afraid of going to heaven, one has to die first before going to heaven, right? All responded, “right.” What really is death according to our catechism? Death is the process of the Spirit leaving the body and going to the presence of God for judgement.
According to the first reading, God has sieved them as gold is purified by fire. All those who suffered physically with Christ, are purified by him through their suffering and made ready to shine like pure gold. Their suffering may initially seem like punishment, but it is not, it is a process of preparing them for the purity of heaven, letting them go through the process Christ himself went through his agony in the garden to the death on the cross. With regards to death, like many people, she may have prayed, “God, do not let this happen to me, do not let this be my portion. The intense emotions that people in such a situation feel can be seen in the intense emotion of Christ at the garden, that prayer was so intense that blood and water gushed from him. As a person (human), that suffering was much for him, but as God, he was above that suffering. He knew that if he did not go through the suffering, we would not have eternal life as we do today. He cried out, “Father, take this cup away from me. Not my will but your will be done...” we all know that thousands of people all over the world, here in Enugu, in Nova Scotia Canada and our family friends all over prayed so hard for miracle, for physical healing if not for any other reason, then because she was very young and had a son to raise. But after all this prayer, it seemed like God did not answer our prayers. But, God listens to us, he answers our prayers. If we remember, the Letter to the Hebrews reminded us that Christ himself prayed to the one who is able to save him, and he listened to him. After listening to him, what happened? He was still crucified on the cross.
One of the priests who is with us in Halifax said that when he was still a younger priest, probably a couple of months into his priesthood, a lady once called him to ask, “You say that God answers all prayers?” and Fr. Eric responded, “Yes.” She then told him that she would enter into prayer for a very special need. About three months later, the woman called him back and said, “Father, you are a lier!” He said, “What?” and she responded, “You are a lier. You told me that God answers all prayers. Well, I have been praying for this one intention for the past three month, but God never answered them.” Fr. Eric responded, “He answered you my dear, he simply said NO!”
Sometimes, God can say no to us when we pray even though we desire for the answer to all our prayers to be YES. He knows what is good for us, and what will give us life. Truly in our own eyes my dear Blessing, we would have wished that you live, raise your child, and have grandchildren, but in God’s eyes, it is time to welcome you into the kingdom of heaven. It was not easy for Christ when he went through his suffering, in the same manner, it is not easy for anyone who goes through suffering. What made Christ cry with a loud voice on the cross must be a very difficult and excruciating pain, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” this was not said in a very soft voice as we often read at mass but probably with a harsh loud harsh voice. He knew that God does not abandon his people so he said, “Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.” Let us say the same thing Jesus said, “Father, into your hands we commend the spirit of our sister Blessing. We have in Christ and in God, we cry for her because we are human, but if we remember what Paul told us, let us not cry for her like those who have no faith because we have faith and hope that some day we shall be with our sister in heaven where we will share in eternal happiness. There, God will wipe our every tear.
So, we are gathered here to touch each other’s soul and console each other, to know that though we may not see her again for sometime, but we shall see her again in our true home in heaven when God calls us, if we do his will.
As we all know, Blessing has had to struggle with cancer for the last six year and a couple of months, for many people who go through the process of prolonged illness, there are poignant moments of not believing that this could be true, moments of feeling abandoned by God, maybe even angry at God, moments of feeling that God does not care about what goes on in their lives. In her case, Blessing had those moments, but what really hurt the most for her was the thought that she might not be there to see her son Kevin grow up and do all the normal things young people do, but I am sure she will be there for him in the spiritual sense...
She suffered both physically, emotionally, in her fears and thoughts of what tomorrow may hold. She was afraid of death, just like many of us here are, but she faced it with courage. She probably felt something that made her decide that she wanted to come home for a short visit, and she specifically requested for the flight to be booked for certain date. God knows why it so happened that as soon as she got to Lagos, she fainted and had a mini-stroke. If she missed her flight by a day, this would have happened in the United States. If it did, she may not have been able to get to Nigeria and bid her final farewell to all those who came to see her at home and eventually in the hospital. So, she really longed to come here, to be with all of you whom she had not seen for some years.
Blessing also showed the depth of her love for her son Kevin by taking him for three weeks within which they went to all kinds of interesting places and parks. She took him harbour-trotting in Seattle and had a tour of Seattle with him. She decided to have the best time ever with him for those three weeks, and even though she was already getting weak and knew she was getting sicker, she still insisted on giving him the best moments of his life. Talking with Blessing within those three weeks, one would not know that she was getting quite sick, except that she was beginning to slur in her speech and to take a bit longer to respond to questions as a result of an earlier mini-stroke.
While mom and I were going through her luggage two days ago, we found a note about a dream she had a year last June. In it, she was narrating a dream where our father who died in March of 2009 was inviting our mother to come join him because he loved her and wanted to be with her, but Blessing kept asking him to leave our mom so that she may live for us. The rest of the dram almost described what happened to her. She never showed nor discussed this dream with anybody. I think that even though this dream was written as pertaining to our mother, Ngozi was in a sense telling us that she was getting ready to be with our dad who loved her so much. So, our sister knew that God will call her some day, she prepared herself. We pray, if there was any sin she committed, that God may forgive her those sins for in her life, she desired to do God’s will. Be courageous my people, and have faith in Christ who leads along the way of truth and life. It hurts, but eventually, we will be consoled when we reach eternal happiness.
And I say to mama, our mother, it is true that the child is supposed to bury the mother, but remember that our Blessed Mother also buried her own son. Our Blessed Mother taught us to have faith in Christ. You have faith in God, with that faith, trust in God just as our Blessed Mother trusted in God. We know that if it is something prayer can change, it would have been done as all these people prayed so hard, if it is something money can change, it would have been done a long time ago, if it is something medical treatment or naturopathic treatment can change, it would have been done. Because for the last six years she had been going from one hospital to another and had all kinds of treatment. She returned home here, people came to pray. As Christ prayed, so did they. But it is not God’s will. Let us allow the will of God to be done for we cannot fight against His will. Let us put our trust in God and say to our sister (I turned to the casket and touched and said) “Go in peace, go in peace, go in peace.”
I started the homily by singing the first two stanzas of the hymn: It is well with my soul
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Refrain
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath “WASHED NGOZI INHIS” blood.
My dear brothers and sisters, we have come before the Lord today to pray for our sister Blessing whom the Lord has called to himself. We have come to pray that she may be welcomed to eternal life in our home truth. We are grieving but God grace is more than anything in our lives
Song: My brother (sister), cease crying for the dead, please clean your eyes (2xs). Death is a universal phenomenon, cease crying for whatever happens to one, his (her) God knows about, my brother (sister), death is a universal phenomenon, whatever happens to one, his (her) God knows about. A woman went to the native doctor to get medicine with which to raise her child from the dead (2xs). The native doctor told her to go around all the nations, when you enter a home where death never touched, get some leaves from there, with that your child will be raised from the dead. The woman went around the towns but could not find any home where death never touched. She started praying for her child that s/he may go in peace, she prayed for her child that God may bless her (him)...
Today, we are here to grieve but also to thank God for the life she gave to our sister Blessing Ngozi. The first reading from the Book of Wisdom tells us that in the eyes of those who have no faith, this is the end, but in the eyes of those of us who have faith, we know that our sister has gone before us to a better place, a place of true life, the place we all long to God. Christ himself made a promise that he was going to our father and to his Father, and that after he has gone, he will return to take us with him so that we may be with him.
Who wants to go to heaven here? (raised my left hand, everybody raised his/her hand). Who wants to die right now? None (they all started chuckling/laughing softly). Often we sing,
“Heaven is my desire, I will run the race for heaven (and all responded in chorus)
Heaven is my desire, and I will run the race for heaven (2xs)
Me: My brother (sister) do you long to run the race for your life?
All: Heaven is my desire, and I will run the race for heaven
Me: Holy Spirit, help us the grace to run, and reach there
All: Heaven is my desire, and I will run the race for heaven
Me: The comforter, help us to run, and reach there
All: Heaven is my desire, and I will run the race for heaven...”
After singing this song, we are still afraid of going to heaven, one has to die first before going to heaven, right? All responded, “right.” What really is death according to our catechism? Death is the process of the Spirit leaving the body and going to the presence of God for judgement.
According to the first reading, God has sieved them as gold is purified by fire. All those who suffered physically with Christ, are purified by him through their suffering and made ready to shine like pure gold. Their suffering may initially seem like punishment, but it is not, it is a process of preparing them for the purity of heaven, letting them go through the process Christ himself went through his agony in the garden to the death on the cross. With regards to death, like many people, she may have prayed, “God, do not let this happen to me, do not let this be my portion. The intense emotions that people in such a situation feel can be seen in the intense emotion of Christ at the garden, that prayer was so intense that blood and water gushed from him. As a person (human), that suffering was much for him, but as God, he was above that suffering. He knew that if he did not go through the suffering, we would not have eternal life as we do today. He cried out, “Father, take this cup away from me. Not my will but your will be done...” we all know that thousands of people all over the world, here in Enugu, in Nova Scotia Canada and our family friends all over prayed so hard for miracle, for physical healing if not for any other reason, then because she was very young and had a son to raise. But after all this prayer, it seemed like God did not answer our prayers. But, God listens to us, he answers our prayers. If we remember, the Letter to the Hebrews reminded us that Christ himself prayed to the one who is able to save him, and he listened to him. After listening to him, what happened? He was still crucified on the cross.
One of the priests who is with us in Halifax said that when he was still a younger priest, probably a couple of months into his priesthood, a lady once called him to ask, “You say that God answers all prayers?” and Fr. Eric responded, “Yes.” She then told him that she would enter into prayer for a very special need. About three months later, the woman called him back and said, “Father, you are a lier!” He said, “What?” and she responded, “You are a lier. You told me that God answers all prayers. Well, I have been praying for this one intention for the past three month, but God never answered them.” Fr. Eric responded, “He answered you my dear, he simply said NO!”
Sometimes, God can say no to us when we pray even though we desire for the answer to all our prayers to be YES. He knows what is good for us, and what will give us life. Truly in our own eyes my dear Blessing, we would have wished that you live, raise your child, and have grandchildren, but in God’s eyes, it is time to welcome you into the kingdom of heaven. It was not easy for Christ when he went through his suffering, in the same manner, it is not easy for anyone who goes through suffering. What made Christ cry with a loud voice on the cross must be a very difficult and excruciating pain, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” this was not said in a very soft voice as we often read at mass but probably with a harsh loud harsh voice. He knew that God does not abandon his people so he said, “Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.” Let us say the same thing Jesus said, “Father, into your hands we commend the spirit of our sister Blessing. We have in Christ and in God, we cry for her because we are human, but if we remember what Paul told us, let us not cry for her like those who have no faith because we have faith and hope that some day we shall be with our sister in heaven where we will share in eternal happiness. There, God will wipe our every tear.
So, we are gathered here to touch each other’s soul and console each other, to know that though we may not see her again for sometime, but we shall see her again in our true home in heaven when God calls us, if we do his will.
As we all know, Blessing has had to struggle with cancer for the last six year and a couple of months, for many people who go through the process of prolonged illness, there are poignant moments of not believing that this could be true, moments of feeling abandoned by God, maybe even angry at God, moments of feeling that God does not care about what goes on in their lives. In her case, Blessing had those moments, but what really hurt the most for her was the thought that she might not be there to see her son Kevin grow up and do all the normal things young people do, but I am sure she will be there for him in the spiritual sense...
She suffered both physically, emotionally, in her fears and thoughts of what tomorrow may hold. She was afraid of death, just like many of us here are, but she faced it with courage. She probably felt something that made her decide that she wanted to come home for a short visit, and she specifically requested for the flight to be booked for certain date. God knows why it so happened that as soon as she got to Lagos, she fainted and had a mini-stroke. If she missed her flight by a day, this would have happened in the United States. If it did, she may not have been able to get to Nigeria and bid her final farewell to all those who came to see her at home and eventually in the hospital. So, she really longed to come here, to be with all of you whom she had not seen for some years.
Blessing also showed the depth of her love for her son Kevin by taking him for three weeks within which they went to all kinds of interesting places and parks. She took him harbour-trotting in Seattle and had a tour of Seattle with him. She decided to have the best time ever with him for those three weeks, and even though she was already getting weak and knew she was getting sicker, she still insisted on giving him the best moments of his life. Talking with Blessing within those three weeks, one would not know that she was getting quite sick, except that she was beginning to slur in her speech and to take a bit longer to respond to questions as a result of an earlier mini-stroke.
While mom and I were going through her luggage two days ago, we found a note about a dream she had a year last June. In it, she was narrating a dream where our father who died in March of 2009 was inviting our mother to come join him because he loved her and wanted to be with her, but Blessing kept asking him to leave our mom so that she may live for us. The rest of the dram almost described what happened to her. She never showed nor discussed this dream with anybody. I think that even though this dream was written as pertaining to our mother, Ngozi was in a sense telling us that she was getting ready to be with our dad who loved her so much. So, our sister knew that God will call her some day, she prepared herself. We pray, if there was any sin she committed, that God may forgive her those sins for in her life, she desired to do God’s will. Be courageous my people, and have faith in Christ who leads along the way of truth and life. It hurts, but eventually, we will be consoled when we reach eternal happiness.
And I say to mama, our mother, it is true that the child is supposed to bury the mother, but remember that our Blessed Mother also buried her own son. Our Blessed Mother taught us to have faith in Christ. You have faith in God, with that faith, trust in God just as our Blessed Mother trusted in God. We know that if it is something prayer can change, it would have been done as all these people prayed so hard, if it is something money can change, it would have been done a long time ago, if it is something medical treatment or naturopathic treatment can change, it would have been done. Because for the last six years she had been going from one hospital to another and had all kinds of treatment. She returned home here, people came to pray. As Christ prayed, so did they. But it is not God’s will. Let us allow the will of God to be done for we cannot fight against His will. Let us put our trust in God and say to our sister (I turned to the casket and touched and said) “Go in peace, go in peace, go in peace.”
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