Thursday, October 21, 2010
Update on Blessing
Once more, thank you so much for your prayers for Blessing and for my family. On Friday, October 15th, Blessing was admitted to the Annunciation Hospital where she underwent blood transfusion and, malaria treatment and was given some IVs. At this time, the doctors also noted that her blood pressure was quite low (her blood pressure is okay now). On the morning of the 15th, she was not able to eat, was barely conscious when they got her to the hospital. The doctors diagnosed that she was suffering from malaria. Presently, she is still recovering at the hospital and they are taking good care of her. While the prognosis does not look good, we keep praying that God's will may be done in her life.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
My Journey to Nigeria (continued)
The days started with getting Blessing to the bathroom for a bath, dressing her and getting her to the family room where we would have a celebration of the Eucharist at around 8.00am. What a blessing this was to all of us as we journey with God in this struggle. Intricately connected to the Eucharistic celebration is a faith-filled understanding of struggles for those who face death, just as Christ had after the last supper. This usually set the tone for each day. It is interesting to think that the readings for the last two weeks of the period I was visiting and celebrating the Eucharist were from the Book of Job. While the book of Job presents raw emotions with regards to dealing with personal tragedy, it then occurred to me that each person’s tragedy can be related to that of others and that people go through similar emotions as they struggle with handling what life throws at them. We can all see something of ourselves in the life and struggles of Job.
On Friday, I devised a way to get around with Blessing. I would stand behind her and get her right leg on top of my right leg, with both hands I would hold her from under both armpit so that I may support her weight, then I would invite her to move her left leg forward without my help, and then I will move my right leg forward. This required having good balance and worked for us. This was also done in a bid to stimulate her muscles and coax her to respond to my invitations for her to use the right side which was partially paralyzed. At this point, she was still able to respond in two or three words. I could feel the desire and longing to survive this illness. This was a weekend of gains and losses. One poignant moment was when she tried lifting the glass of water to drink by herself. She was able to hold it with both hands but every effort to get it up to her mouth did not yield the desired result. Finally I reached out to help her drink from the cup. That night as I laid in bed, I wondered how the human brain works and how difficult and frustrating it must be for Blessing to try to do something we all take for granted – drinking from a cup – and not be able to do so. I wondered how frustrating it must be for all those who loose the ability to do something they were so used to doing. How could one reconcile the apparent loss of the ability to do simple things as one’s body becomes weak, the muscles shrink, and unable to carry out commands/message from the brain even when the message is understood? It was quite painful to watch that drama unfold. But it was not a drama! This is life, REAL!
On Sunday one of Blessing’s schoolmate and friend came to visit. She was shocked at how much Blessing had changed physically though she tried to put on a brave face. I know it is difficult for people who had not followed her through the process to see her at this stage. She has lost so much weight, recognizes people and once in a while could call people by name, but not able to carry on conversation except by signing or squeezing one’s fingers. I wondered what she thought as all these people came in to see her, what she thought about her inability to communicate and let people know what she thought. I also know that she felt the love from all of us.
On the day before I left Enugu to return to Canada, I had a chat with Blessing. I call it a chat because she communicated by squeezing my hand when I ask her questions. It was a painful heart-to-heart chat. I gave her a hug and as I left her bedroom, I wondered if this would be the last time I would be able to communicate with her in this manner. Later that night mom came into my bedroom for a chat. She wanted to know what I want her to do in case Blessing died while I was on my way. I told her that if anything happened, I would like to celebrate the funeral. We had a long chat which made me feel better as I was unsure how mom would feel about such topics as to what to do should the kind of miracle we pray for not materialize. Knowing that mom is ready for whatever the will of God may be gave me the assurance that they will be okay even without me being physically present.
Early the next morning, I got ready to go to the bus station. We gathered as a family to say a morning prayer. We sang some spontaneous songs, said some prayers and then comes one of the most difficult moments in my life, saying goodbye. As I sat on the edge of Blessing’s bed, I told her again that I was about to go to the bus station en route to Canada. Mom sat by the door watching. I held Blessing’s hand and told her that she will be in my prayers and that God is with her in her struggles. After a few words of encouragement, I leaned over and gave her a long hug. Mom could not hold it anymore so she left the room. When I was about to stand, my niece walked into the room. She sat by the bedside while I stroked Blessing’s hands, told her I love her and slowly made my way to the door. My heart was broken as I watched her trying to say something but the words could not come out. What a moment! It is impossible to express the emotions in words. All I remember is that I let the tears out all the way to the bust station.
When the bus left the station, there was a preacher who prayed with all in the bus. I realized that each bus owner employs the preachers to pray with the passengers. As we journeyed, I kept thinking of the comments made by the preacher in the bus I took the day I travelled from Lagos to Enugu. He said something to the effect that the bus owner, the driver, nor indeed anyone else but God had anything to do with the bus getting us to our destination. He also exaggerated the power of the devil by indicating that if everyone in the bus did not pray, the devil could work through the individual to effect an accident along the way. I remember asking the preacher for his phone number and calling him days after I got to Enugu. When I called him, I explained to him that while not disregarding the power of the devil, we need to stop giving credit to the devil for what the devil did not do. The fact is that the driver had much to do with the bust getting to its destination. If the driver did not get enough sleep or takes any mood changing substance, he would be risking people’s life. Along the same line, if the owners do not maintain their vehicle, the mechanical/physical laws would be disobeyed thereby rendering everyone’s life in danger as the vehicle could crash due to the parts not working well together. Since the roads have been neglected by the government, it is dangerous for people to travel on such roads. My goal was to get the preacher to see that some of the things people blame the devil for are results of neglect or people not fulfilling their responsibilities. While the devil has power, people need to be clear on what irresponsibility by others can effect and what the devil can effect. He was initially defensive but later agreed with most of my points. I did not expect him to agree wholly with me.
During the bus ride from Enugu to Lagos, I reflected on the good, the bad, and the somewhere in-between experiences I had throughout this process. It was nice to have this opportunity to be there for mom and my other family members as we go through this process.
More installments to follow
On Friday, I devised a way to get around with Blessing. I would stand behind her and get her right leg on top of my right leg, with both hands I would hold her from under both armpit so that I may support her weight, then I would invite her to move her left leg forward without my help, and then I will move my right leg forward. This required having good balance and worked for us. This was also done in a bid to stimulate her muscles and coax her to respond to my invitations for her to use the right side which was partially paralyzed. At this point, she was still able to respond in two or three words. I could feel the desire and longing to survive this illness. This was a weekend of gains and losses. One poignant moment was when she tried lifting the glass of water to drink by herself. She was able to hold it with both hands but every effort to get it up to her mouth did not yield the desired result. Finally I reached out to help her drink from the cup. That night as I laid in bed, I wondered how the human brain works and how difficult and frustrating it must be for Blessing to try to do something we all take for granted – drinking from a cup – and not be able to do so. I wondered how frustrating it must be for all those who loose the ability to do something they were so used to doing. How could one reconcile the apparent loss of the ability to do simple things as one’s body becomes weak, the muscles shrink, and unable to carry out commands/message from the brain even when the message is understood? It was quite painful to watch that drama unfold. But it was not a drama! This is life, REAL!
On Sunday one of Blessing’s schoolmate and friend came to visit. She was shocked at how much Blessing had changed physically though she tried to put on a brave face. I know it is difficult for people who had not followed her through the process to see her at this stage. She has lost so much weight, recognizes people and once in a while could call people by name, but not able to carry on conversation except by signing or squeezing one’s fingers. I wondered what she thought as all these people came in to see her, what she thought about her inability to communicate and let people know what she thought. I also know that she felt the love from all of us.
On the day before I left Enugu to return to Canada, I had a chat with Blessing. I call it a chat because she communicated by squeezing my hand when I ask her questions. It was a painful heart-to-heart chat. I gave her a hug and as I left her bedroom, I wondered if this would be the last time I would be able to communicate with her in this manner. Later that night mom came into my bedroom for a chat. She wanted to know what I want her to do in case Blessing died while I was on my way. I told her that if anything happened, I would like to celebrate the funeral. We had a long chat which made me feel better as I was unsure how mom would feel about such topics as to what to do should the kind of miracle we pray for not materialize. Knowing that mom is ready for whatever the will of God may be gave me the assurance that they will be okay even without me being physically present.
Early the next morning, I got ready to go to the bus station. We gathered as a family to say a morning prayer. We sang some spontaneous songs, said some prayers and then comes one of the most difficult moments in my life, saying goodbye. As I sat on the edge of Blessing’s bed, I told her again that I was about to go to the bus station en route to Canada. Mom sat by the door watching. I held Blessing’s hand and told her that she will be in my prayers and that God is with her in her struggles. After a few words of encouragement, I leaned over and gave her a long hug. Mom could not hold it anymore so she left the room. When I was about to stand, my niece walked into the room. She sat by the bedside while I stroked Blessing’s hands, told her I love her and slowly made my way to the door. My heart was broken as I watched her trying to say something but the words could not come out. What a moment! It is impossible to express the emotions in words. All I remember is that I let the tears out all the way to the bust station.
When the bus left the station, there was a preacher who prayed with all in the bus. I realized that each bus owner employs the preachers to pray with the passengers. As we journeyed, I kept thinking of the comments made by the preacher in the bus I took the day I travelled from Lagos to Enugu. He said something to the effect that the bus owner, the driver, nor indeed anyone else but God had anything to do with the bus getting us to our destination. He also exaggerated the power of the devil by indicating that if everyone in the bus did not pray, the devil could work through the individual to effect an accident along the way. I remember asking the preacher for his phone number and calling him days after I got to Enugu. When I called him, I explained to him that while not disregarding the power of the devil, we need to stop giving credit to the devil for what the devil did not do. The fact is that the driver had much to do with the bust getting to its destination. If the driver did not get enough sleep or takes any mood changing substance, he would be risking people’s life. Along the same line, if the owners do not maintain their vehicle, the mechanical/physical laws would be disobeyed thereby rendering everyone’s life in danger as the vehicle could crash due to the parts not working well together. Since the roads have been neglected by the government, it is dangerous for people to travel on such roads. My goal was to get the preacher to see that some of the things people blame the devil for are results of neglect or people not fulfilling their responsibilities. While the devil has power, people need to be clear on what irresponsibility by others can effect and what the devil can effect. He was initially defensive but later agreed with most of my points. I did not expect him to agree wholly with me.
During the bus ride from Enugu to Lagos, I reflected on the good, the bad, and the somewhere in-between experiences I had throughout this process. It was nice to have this opportunity to be there for mom and my other family members as we go through this process.
More installments to follow
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)