Moments after Blessing died

Today has been a day of emotional ups and downs as we strive to grasp the mystery of death and how it affects us as a family. Though I knew that the day would probably come soon, I did not expect Blessing to leave us so soon. Her death has taken the wind off the sail and then, there is the calmness of being in the presence of God. The battle is over, the victory is won, as Paul asks, "death, where is your victory, death, where is your sting?" Eternal life wins over death.

On behalf of my family, thank you for your prayers and support. They mean so much for me and my family, especially for my mother who truly appreciates it. It was heartbreaking to talk with mom soon after Blessing died. Nothing can ever prepare one for the death of a loved one even though we may know that it is coming. I thought that going through dad's sudden death was enough shock, but this one is even more painful. After I spoke with mom, I took out one of my picture albums and started going through it, and th etears rolled down as I watched my beautiful sister and thought of all that she had gone through in this life. I am encouraged by the reality that she is now enjoying "eternity with God." I am sure she and Denis will get to meet and that someday we all will get to be there with them. Ironically I asked at mass last Sunday if anybody wanted to go to heaven, and all raised their hands, but when I asked if anyone wanted to die, none did. While it may not only be as a result of not being sure how eternity feels, I think that the realization of the pains those left behind feel is strong enough reason.


I needed that time immediately after the news to talk with family and try to calm everyone down and for us to seek some healing. We prayed over the phone and commended her soul into the hands of God. It was probably the send most difficult prayer I ever said, first was for my father. The pain can be deeper than words can explain. While our pains may not be taken away, the love of family and friends diminishes that. It has been an emotional roller-coaster but it is expected. All of you who have gone through such loss (God's gain) understand what it feels like. Thanks for your words of encouragement.
My biggest pain now is talking with Blessing's Kevin and trying to help him understand that mommy still loves him even though he will not be seeing her for a long time. I know he understands the concept of angels and so "mommy is his special angel." I believe that children as well as adults go through the grieving process and each one adjusts and copes according to her/his capacity. Please keep Kevin in your prayers as he will have to grow up without the love of his mother, but not without our love. We see Blessing in him and we love him as much as we love her.

Rest In Peace Little Sister

Today at about 9.15pm (Nova Scotian time, about 2.15am Nigerian time) I got a call from my mother. As soon as her number appeared on the phone, I knew that "this was it!" In the midst of her sobbing I said, "Blessing is dead!" and she sobbed, "Let it not happen again" (in Igbo language, OZOEMENA).

Finally my beloved younger sister Blessing has gone to be with God. As I spoke with mom and try to calm her down, my eyes welled up with tears, a lump on my throat, and amidst the indescribable pain I assured her that Blessing is in a better place. Not that I remember all we spoke about except that I tried to be on the phone with her for that first moment and while I let her cry (she needed to), I also intermittently reminded her that Blessing is at peace in the presence of Our Father.

Blessing has carried her cross in life, suffered both physically and emotionally. Now the battle with cancer is over, and Blessing won! She won because she no longer suffer in her body nor emotionally, she won because she is in a better place, the one place we all long to go though we are often afraid to face death. She was a brave fighter. Her courage in the face of illness and "pain" teaches us to embrace life and all it brings and to entrust everything in the hands of God. May she rest in peace. We love you but God loves you the most.

Thank you all for your prayers. I am sure that her suffering was tempered by the effects of your prayers. Please pray especially for my mother who has gone through a lot in the past two years. Her faith inspires all of us.

I will keep you informed.

Little miracle in the midst of difficult situation

Earlier today I called mom to find out how they were doing. She informed me that Blessing was able to open her eyes today. Though she did this several times through the day, it is a miracle because two days ago they thought that she was never going to open her eyes again. This gave mom a huge boost in spite of the reality facing us. The doctors say that there is nothing else they can do than to provide palliative care. Please continue to keep Blesssing in your prayers. Above are a couple of pictures I took with her - the first two were taken moments after she underwent brain surgery four years ago, the last one was taken just before she went in for brain surgery (picture above).

As I write this, I wonder what goes on in the minds of people who know that their days on earth are numbered. Pondering this reality may help each of us think of the deeper meanings to the mystery of life. I am certain that one's understanding of the after-earthly-life will have influence on how one handles this sort of situation. May God give us all the courage to face whatever may come our way and the possibility of the death of a loved one.